Thurs. June 25th, 2009
Yesterday, we had our first corps members (not from ENC, but from other corps here training in Chicago) quit and leave institute. I can’t imagine doing it, but I can understand on some level. It has been a very long time since I felt this unskilled and unprepared.
I have never been this tired - and that includes all those all-nighters at Coe. I feel this is on some level due to the heat; like most midwest schools, CPS doesn’t have A/C in most areas of their buildings and we’ve had heat indices over 90 degrees all week. It seems like each person I talk with is experiencing at least some of the symptoms of moderate dehydration (dizzy, swollen ankles and feet, tired, headaches). Collaborative planning sessions sometimes get snippy, but I think everyone is working to make the best of it. And we definitely know what our students are going through - trying to learn in that sweltering environment. That being said we also know it can be done. I have learned so much this week.
My first lesson plans were due today. I’m not sure how I feel about the second one (comparing European and Japanese feudalism), but the first one (on Charlemagne) is pretty solid and I have a much better idea of what to say for that lesson. I think the second one will be more interesting, simply because the activities are more varied, but I did not evaluate the lesson as much as I should have. I’m expecting my CMA to tear that one apart.
Despite the heat, I actually get a lot of work done at school and less done in my air-conditioned room. Part of it is my desk at home is a mess, always, and our classroom is neat, if uncomfortable. There are also not distractions, like blogging.
Working out a classroom management plan with my teaching collaborative group (collab) has been more frustrating than I would have expected. We don’t have the problem of disparate visions, but instead we are finding ourselves getting stuck between wanting to practice setting up a full plan, but also realizing we are entering into a school system already in progress and that our students are going to almost entirely change over in two weeks. Thinking about it now, on my own, away from the school, I feel TFA would want me to just plan and implement as though it were the first day of this class, so I think that is what I will suggest we do, but I do feel a little bad for the kids, who will then be asked to re-learn their classroom management rules, policies and procedures. This would be so much easier if it were two weeks later and we just did the whole second “semester” instead of half of each semester. Oh well. We’ll make it work. That is one thing I think I will be very good at once institute is over - taking what I am given and running with it, no matter what. I’ve heard myself say “we’ll make it work” a lot recently.
Jill’s wedding this weekend. I’m feeling wicked guilty for skipping out on my collab’s last day of in-school prep before we go into the classroom.
I should get back to figuring out how to teach about the effect of the crusades.
Teacher moment: This is the cornerstone of my collab’s management plan:
“What we need to learn
W-ork relentlessly
O-wn your actions
R-espect our classroom
L-earn from every opportunity
D-ecide to succeed
History”
It will look better color coded on a poster in my classroom, I’m sure.
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
I had a fabulous weekend in Waterloo and other points around IA this weekend. Went to a wedding, saw a large part of my sorority family and other friends, had lunch with boy I like, bought new jeans for cheap and an fm transmitter for my iPod in the car - no more headphones while driving!!
Then I got back to Chicago and Institute smacked me in the face. Sounds about right.
Got my first three lesson plans back and I need to change most of them. The first one (which I thought was decent, and I spent the most time on) is the WORST. Basically everything is wrong. I knew some things (like my use of the word “bastion”) were going to be problematic (not student friendly) but other things I think are silly. Why can’t I use fill-in-the-blank questions on my assessments? Yeah, they take more time to grade, but it’s one of the few ways I don’t feel like I’m feeding my students the answers. If everything is multiple choice, how will I actually know (based on a three to five question quiz) that my students understand? My quizzes were harder in middle school than the ones my CMA want’s me to write for my 11th and 12th graders. I’m trying to figure out how much of this I need to really internalize and how much is just advice. And then even if it is just advice, am I committed to making my own mistakes. Outside of the assessments, I think I’ve gotten really constructive/helpful and necessary feedback though. The line between meeting our achievement goal and challenging my students is bothering me though. I feel like I would be teaching summer school at my old high school very differently than I am here - as in it’s a lot easier here than at my private school. And that is NOT okay. It’s actually antithetical to the reason why TFA exists and why I’m here. So I need to find what is causing this disconnect and fix it - fast. Time to write my transition team leaders (TTLs, back in ENC - 2008 corps members who are helping to support us as we move and start teaching) and vent and brainstorm I think.
Transitioning is hard work. I do not envy the other women (and men I suppose, I just don’t see them as often) here who are trying to work out moving and distance and such with significant others. I came back today and saw three of my friends from ENC living on my floor teary-eyed or angry because of boyfriends. No fun. Not only do I not envy them those life-chats, I also can’t imagine trying to find time to talk to someone for hours each day. It’s hard enough to write someone an email, journal or workout, and lesson plan on our schedule. I don’t really want to have to find time for an hour or two on the phone each night too. Although if I could, I suppose I would have time to write more. Or read. Or just keep lesson planning, since I apparently need the work.
Accomplishments this weekend: Left town with everything ready to come home to (minus laundry), so I wasn’t totally stressed out on the drive or when I got here. Also I didn’t get lost AT ALL this weekend. That was a pretty huge accomplishment.
Things I hope to get better at: (other than lesson planning) STAYING POSITIVE. I like to complain about a lot of things, especially when I first get home, but things are definitely not all bad: my CMA is helpful; I get along with my collab; I don’t have to leave for school at 6:40; my school site team is fab (when they’re not being mildly clueless, which is to be expected since it’s the first year here). Things are good. Keep smiling.
Sunday July 19th, 2009
Institute has been quite the roller coaster. Some days I come home on top of the world and others I’m ready to punch people, scream, or quit.
I don't remember the impetus for this last thought. Probably had something to do with lesson plans or fighting with my collab. Team teaching was an interesting experience. Some days it was a great experience, other days we couldn't agree on anything, undermined others' dicipline. Having my own classroom is lovely. Decorating is so much fun.
