Today I apparently reached a boiling point of sorts.
It started a few weeks ago, when we got into a debate about Buddhism during our Human Rights class. A sub-group couldn't accept that a religion founded by a prince leaving his wife and child could have as its goal the end of suffering or have anything to add to the study and protection of human rights. This sub-group also took great issue with the buddhist ideal of unattachment. All of their comments in class went something like this "Maybe it's because I haven't really studied Buddhism in-depth, but I don't understand how (x precept of Buddhism) can be a good thing." So, those of us (such as myself) who have studied Buddhism, would try to jump in and explain the concept at hand. Granted we generally did so via trying to relate it to something similar in western culture or Christianity, but even when we didn't, our thoughts, suggestions and interpretations were shot down as invalid. We were wrong every time we tried to defend eastern thought as not less than western thought, just different. Everything had to be value judgements, and our comfort zone had to be ascribed the higher value.
It was infuriating. My roommate (the other person who attempted to explain Buddhist thought) and I vented for a while after class, and the next day I let it go. Whatever, people are entitled to opinions, and westerners (particularly Americans) are famous for believing they are always right and therefore better. And I figured I wasn't completely innocent on that count either.
That next weekend, we went to visit an NGO that works to provide women living in the Burmese refugee camps with a means of income, allowing them to provide for their families while living in Thailand. Like many of the NGOs we're hearing from, most of what they do is technically not allowed by the Thai government, and these women are taking a risk in talking with us. As with about half of the NGOs, it's run by people who are farang, just as we are. In this case, the women running the organization are Filipino. English is their third language. But to many of my compatriots this does not mean that we should put out any extra effort to understand the complexities of the work the NGO does, or try to work within and accept the language barrier we are functioning through. Rather than showing any understanding, a few people spend the entire walk back from the NGO, opining about how the group doesn't do enough (no shit, the Thai and Burmese governments won't let them), or that the women presenting to us didn't satisfactorily answer a particular question (which she did answer, just not as directly as a native english speaker would have).
Again, I didn't argue much. It didn't seem like a battle that could be won, so why fight it? But it did start me simmering a little.
This last week, things really started to "overcook my grits." (Come on! Anyone get the reference?) On Monday, Kacie and I met with an Ajaan at Maw Chaw who Drex describes as "a force of nature," which she is. Ajaan Nok is wildly intelligent and gender/social change oriented and wanted to find a way to hook Kacie and I up with English majors with similar interests to help us with our gender-related independent studies. Ajaan Nok suggested that we attend some presentations of five majors final English capstone projects that were occurring later that week (Wed. - Fri.). The idea behind the projects is that all the senior english majors due this massive research project as one of their final classes, and then they create some kind of public presentation, whether that's a poster presentation at the Faculty of Humanities presentation day, or something else, they don't care. So this year, 4 students put on dramatic presentations relating to their research and it ended up being all 11 of us that went to each presentation rather than just Kacie and I, which was fine, in general.
The first of these presentations was on Wednesday afternoon. It consisted of a series of Bob Dylan songs performed by a group of CMU English students. The English major doing the project played guitar and enlisted friends to sing and play bass, keyboard and drums. Before each song, the researching student would introduce it, telling the title, the album it was originally released on, the year, at a little about the American context of the song. Then they would perform, and after the song the student would explain more about the original meaning of the song in American society and culture and then compare that to contemporary Thailand. After the Dylan performance, there was another on "Black Music" (his - the thai student's - words, not mine). This one really didn't make a whole lot of sense and didn't seem well researched or considered at all. I was frustrated though on the way home, because not only did people tear apart the second performance, they also ravaged the Dylan one as well. This continued all week, and grew to include the third and fourth performances (Pocahontas and Phantom of the Opera) as well.
There is a time and a place for being critical and discussing gaps in a presentation or an argument, but I truly feel this was not it.
Yes, racial discrimination in Thailand is different than it was in the United States. There is not the history of slavery and does not appear to be the complete hatred that was pervasive in U.S. culture. But there is segregation to the extreme with hill-tribe people not being allowed to leave villages to work or gain an education and there is a sense that they constitute a different race, a separate people not worthy of full citizenship or rights in Thai society. These differences do not mean that the situation is any less serious than racism in the United States; it is still a huge problem to overcome and a valid comparison to make.
Yes, the "black music" presentation kind of missed the boat. A lot. But do we need to continue harping on it for two weeks? Pocahontas as well - yeah it was a disney remake and not a true representation of the Pocahontas story, but how many Americans know the true story? Yeah, not a whole lot. Why should you expect Thais to?
And Phantom was fucking fantastic. Yes, most of the singers were untrained, but let's see you do any better when you perform a condensed Thai opera, okay? Then you can judge.
Today in our Thai culture class, it was happening again. We had a Thai ajaan come to speak about gender in Thailand. She started her talk by saying that she wouldn't have time to talk about men as much, so her talk was going to focus on women. Being someone who tries to give simplified talks, I saw this merely as an attempt at full disclosure - saying "Hey - this is usually something I would teach in a semester, and I'm gonna try and boil it down to two hours." This was apparently, though, just another thing to criticize. As was her points about the way children's literature reinforces stereotypical gender roles. Really, the whole argument came down to a complete misunderstanding and disrespect for feminism and feminist thought, but it also was another chance to criticize the Thais and call them stupid. Trying to avoid conflict (as is my m.o.) I head for the song-taow - headphones in hand. I stop to talk to two other students, who are also fuming (but I think about different issues). As a result of this momentary hold up, I can't get into the song-taow, get the music playing and turned up loud enough in time to miss hearing all the ranting going on as everyone hops in and sits down... and... I snap.
Comment: How can you be like "this is a talk on gender" and then say that you're going to completely ignore one gender?!
Me: Okay. That's not fair - that's just what you call it - even in America - it's "gender studies" when perhaps it really means "women's studies." And while that might be a valid criticism, it's not a reason to write off her whole fucking talk --
Comment: I don't know if that's what we were trying to do --
Me: It's not just this time - there are other instances too. All the student presentations? I'm so fucking sick and tired of us all being so critical and condescending of every Thai presentation we go to. We're supposed to be here to learn about another culture. This is not fucking America, this is their second language, cut them some slack. Be fucking respectful.
Then I checked out... I really, really did not want to fight, no matter how much those sound like fighting words. I did want to be heard and listened to, just once, which probably didn't happen... but oh well. I wasn't really a bastion of reason when I let that one loose.
When we got back, I was the last one to get out of the song-taow and I paced around outside for a couple of minutes so that I didn't have to see anyone. Luckily for me it was also my roommate's music lesson day, so she hadn't come back with us, leaving me the room to myself. I spent the rest of the afternoon alone, and even made someone knock on my door three times before I would open it. You know I'm pissed when I'm feeling that misanthropic.
The whole point of this is not to rant about my group, or to badmouth anyone or our trip. It was an interesting experience for me to work on writing this and discover just how much emphasis I put on respecting others and being curious about the culture around me, and to realize that others to not necessarily place the same kind of emphasis on these things. I truly feel like a guest and as though I have a job to learn about my hosts (the people of Thailand). I can't and shouldn't just carry on as I always have. I need to learn their language, or at least be making an effort to while I'm here - not just expecting to be able to get by with English. And it frustrates me when others feel they can simply decide that Thai is "an ugly language" that they shouldn't need to study - the vendors understand pointing and grunts, why isn't that enough? In my mind, it simply isn't. It's disrespectful and unacceptable. We are guests and we are students. Be respectful, understanding, open to learning something.
Any thoughts from the peanut gallery? Am I completely crazy? If you think so, you can tell me, I'm used to it. And, I'm curious. These are my e-two cents. Fire away.
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