Crests and Valleys, Biking, Excitement

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

All month I had been waiting for the weight of my move to hit me. I thought perhaps I got lucky and the only stress I was going to feel was while packing - concerned that I didn’t have the right amount of business attire for teaching this summer. I should have realized this was me we’re talking about - rearranging furniture is about the only change I handle well; moving across the country was not going to go smoothly.

Then came Maryland: Mountain crests = emotional crests - each higher and more dramatic than the last; each downward slope not only was an exciting sight, or a falling lurch in my stomach but a horrible twist as I felt each hill further separating me from my home and the people I love. It is one thing to leave for a semester with a set and terminable amount of time until I return home and am reunited with familiar places and people. It is something completely different to drive away when I have no sense or guarantee of when I will next see those I leave behind.

There is also a feeling of unease or a sense of danger driving through twists and hills for someone so firmly rooted in the flatlands of the midwest. I can never see very far in front of me because the road will wend around a turn or over a crest, and lets be honest, a mountain makes a better door than window. I also often find myself separated from the sister highway traveling back the other direction, adding to the sense of permanence and isolation.

And driving habits are different on mountainsides. I learned to prize myself on my ability to regulate my speed, either through use of cruise control or listening to my vehicle or observing the gage. In my neck of the woods we hate adjusting the cruise or being stuck on the same stretch of highway with someone who can’t decide what speed they are going to drive. When you are forever going up hills and down troughs though, regulating speed kind of goes out the window, apparently. You shoot for the speed limit on the straightaways and are a little below on the uphills, and a little above on the downhills. I have never had so much difficulty with other drivers and deciding where to place myself around them as I did today.

All this amounted to crying through the first hundred miles of Maryland and gripping the wheel white-knuckled and clench-shouldered the rest of the drive.

What the universe reminded me today: Other than needing to occasionally deal with sh** days, always remember to eat. I was so busy being stressed out, that I forgot to eat lunch, which only compounded an already bad situation.

What I am thankful for: Having a friend in my life who will answer her phone, remind me to breathe, deal with my (loving) verbal abuse (read teasing), and keep talking to me until my hands stop shaking and I am able to laugh; and my family being large and spread across the country so at least I’m always heading for someplace familiar and loving at the end of the day.

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

I am currently exhausted. My uncle decided that just chilling at home today was not okay, so we went biking around the capital. Sometimes I should probably say no to things, rather than just avoid making waves. In all honesty, though, I feel fabulous. Sore, but fabulous. Check with me tomorrow.

Along with biking around the Mall, I did a lot of writing today. Wrote an essay. Wrote a letter. Took two showers. Tried a new beer. Ate the biggest bowl of ice cream I’ve eaten in years. Stuff like that.

I want a huge dog. A dog-bear, like my family has here. Corky is fantastic.

What I hope to replicate: My aunt and uncle are in AMAZING shape. Uncle runs with the dog, four miles, every morning. Neither of them looks their age. I want to do that. I need to start working on it. Sometimes I feel like my body is already 30 or 40 and that makes me really, really sad.

OMG!!!! Tomorrow I join my corps!!!